bad company, BAD!

The bottom line is that the answer to "Why would you knowingly continue to sell a defective product?" should not be "We're extending our warranty program." It is for this reason that we say that Microsoft must either be thoroughly forthcoming about the Xbox 360's flaws, or initiate a recall.

-- N'gai Croal

Ouch. Shame on you Microsoft. Shame on you.

e3?

E3!!! Ma chompa? Ol gitkajk fjkdajk!! E3! Wdjkfd djfdka! Hambla jabba!

E3!

it is so true

i've had it

...period.

Super Noypi is just one of the reasons why the Philippine movie industry needs to learn how to make films

So, here we have it. Super Noypi. A pure example of crap filmmaking. Poor lighting skills. Poor editing. Poor direction. Horrible sound production. Absolutly atrocious computer generated graphics. FOUR people created the story and two more people took that story and wrote the screenplay. And none of them realized that the movie was shit to begin with.



Just look at this shot. The lighting bouncing off on the CG vehicle is all off.



As the movie goes for several minutes, you then get this 24 inspired shot. This begs for a huge question. Why did the director and cinematographers decide to use this shot several times during the movie? What point is it trying to make? Is there a usefulness to the shot? 24 uses it because it shows that the call or situation at different places are happening in real time. Why are we treated to the same thing here? Are we supposed to assume that the entire movie is real time? So within the hour of getting their powers, they battle the big boss at the end? Real time? Really?



Here we see the protaginist in a time machine. Every CG background is hilarious because they aren't moving, THEY ARE FUCKING PICTURES!!!! Talk about a shit company that specializes in special effects. Let me say that again. THEY SPECIALIZE IN CG EFFECTS. FUCKING BULLSHIT. I've seen fan made stuff better than this. Just watch some fan made Star Wars movies. Fan made better than a company that specializes in special effects. Give me a fucking break.





Then we have the powers. One with telekinesis, one with invisibility, one that turns into a ball, one that is an aswang (but here its a Beast clone), one Harry Potter knockoff, and one that uses a stick. Great powers. Couldn't they think of better ones? Jeez. The one above is invisibility, but you'll never see her use it until she becomes a villan. Why? Because in the middle of the movie, she has a problem:

SHE IS HAVING A PERIOD. LOL.

The powers are so stupid. They are supposedly passed down. How the fuck in spellcasting passed down. Anybody can read a fucking book? Plus, how can he read that book? It's in some ancient shit script. He even says that the spells are limited. But there are fucking 500 pages in that book dumbass. How limited can it get? Hell, the Harry Potter universe has a shitload of spells, and he only uses 3-4 throughout the entire movie. And the stick power. Wow. Fire, ice, and it extends. Yeah, she can use that as a ice vibrator when she gets really hot in the Philippines. The Beast guy is useless. The most he can do is scratch your face. It's very threatening. He could give you rabies.



Oh, and their secret base. It's located in the bathroom. Perfect hiding spot.



Here is have the villan before he becomes evil. Yes, that is tape to hold the two sides of his glasses together. Fucking nerd cliche.



Damn. She must have some awesome contacts or something.



Here is the original Noypi team. As you can see, they have no costume design whatsoever. You have the aswang wearing suits, can you believe that? Suits.



Here we have the convenience store items. Why the fuck will you buy items are are labeled with spray cans? Kind of fishy if you ask me. Everything looks like it was wrapped in a tampon wrapper.



Here, we have a hoodlum. He is wearing pantyhose. But isn't the point of wearing pantyhose to cover your face? You can clearly see all his facial features. Stupid bad guy for the win.



Terminator 3 knockoff? I think so.



I can fight! I can fight! With my eyes closed. Goddamn, if they were designing a fight in the rain, you would think they would lighten up the rain pour a bit. It's fucking chubby rain. Gotcha suckers!



This is one part I do not understand. He freezes the rain drops, and they magically turn into icicles. It's physically impossible for them to get sharp all of a sudden. Anyways, rain drops to kill someone. It's more like small pellets that wouldn't break the skin in my opinion. The staff girl freezes an entire area. Wouldn't that mean that they would be frozen too? Whoops! Plot hole! Great screenwriting pinoys!! Fucking fantastic!

Overall:



The Philippine movie industry needs to relearn all their movie making techniques. Lighting, framing a shot, audio processing, etc. Then I can fully appreciate them. I haven't seen a GREAT pinoy movie yet. Give me one goddammit.

The only things I don't mind in every Filipino film are the actors/actresses. I know they enjoy and love acting, but it is every aspect other than acting that is just so lacking. It's like every movie there is made within a week. Not several months. A fucking week. Learn how to make films. Hell, I don't go to film school and I see loads of mistakes.

A lot of filipinos are going to hate me for this post. I don't give a shit.

Oh, and here is my cousin J.L. who got really old for this film.



Here, he is a priest. J.L. a priest? No fucking way.

a miniature review for Super Noypi

This film, if you can call it that, is shit, vomit, blood, saliva, and liquid shit all rolled up and shoved in your face, throat, and up the ass. This then results in you vomiting out the same substance throughout every orifice in your body.

Check back later for a major review on this movie and my blog post titled, "The Philippine Movie Industry Needs To Learn How To Make Films."