Change. Growing up. It's these terms that I have not come to yet. My friend who is a huge role player decided that after all these years, he is going to quit all gaming both pen and paper rpgs and gaming. He wanted to become focused. That is what I should be doing. Focusing on my future. But what is my future? Getting embarassed and beaten at that Chicago Tribune internship interview? Becoming a bum? Getting only minimum wage? It's all my decision and I'm constantly destroying myself. Ever since the beginning of middle school, I never rose above normal to the height of excellence. Sure I went to a class where only the brightest and smartest went. But did it all matter? I had so many opportunities to exceed my peers. In high school there were two. I could have gone on a trip to Hawaii swimming with manatees and studying aquatic life. I could have went to an AP Geometry class. What was my excuse? "My family cannot afford it sir." "I can't take AP Geometry since it conflicts with Band". What am I going to do with band now? If only the conductors here knew what they were doing, then I would still be in band. But I am not. I could have gotten scholarships and gotten into a better school, but I didn't. I was too focused on beating Facility in 007: Goldeneye in record time.
My biggest problem which came to my attention from a mock interview is that I never gave myself credit. I was always modest. I'm making you guys too depressed. It's just my thoughts after all.
When Daniel told me about the interview, I kind of freaked out even though I expected there to be one. I'm totally going to blank out if it ever happens.